May Featured Skater: The Count

Name: The Count

Number: 1071

Travel Team: Chaos

Home Team: Bettys

Years skating: 10

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If you’ve been around HKRD for a while, then you already know and love May’s Skater of the Month! If you’re new, then enjoy meeting The Count!

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You were nominated by November Pain, who wants to know: what is your favorite part of what we do? We’ve got practice, bouts, fundraisers; what’s your favorite thing with the derby team?

I’d have to say the camaraderie, just around a group of people with common interests, common goals, the smiles, the vibes, like even when you hit somebody, it’s all good.

How did you discover roller derby?

Oh gosh, I was watching an episode of Bones, probably ten-ish years ago. There was an episode where a derby player was killed, and so they were kind of investigating the girl and everything. They see the bruises, they think spousal abuse. Come to find out she plays roller derby. And then they kind of get into that little world. I’m watching it and I’m like, “That’s a thing? Like that sport exists?” Of course my husband was like, “Yeah, you never heard of roller derby?” Like no, of course not!

So of course I started looking into it, and then I found out Hard Knox had a league and started going on their website and all of that, and I decided that I want to try this. I reached out to info@hardknox, and I believe it was Cut N Dye who was managing that email account at the time. We emailed back and forth a bunch, and slowly started buying all the equipment, the gear, still hadn’t committed. Went to about two bouts and then I finally just said I’m gonna do this. She reached out and said, “Hey, we’re gonna have an open house, why don’t you come on over.” This was back when we on Raccoon Valley, the Raccoon Valley Warehouse.

So The School?

Yeah, The School. So yeah, I showed up, and everyone was just so nice. Another girl showed up at the same time, and come to find out she lives on the next street as me, Tina. We showed up on the same [night], and it was nice, it was just great. I showed up for rec league practice and I was hooked!

Wow! I have heard so many different “this media got me into it.” I have never heard Bones! Like I didn’t realize they did an episode on that, that is so cool.

It is, yeah.

Well, what was your pre-derby background? Had you done sports before? Had you roller skated a lot as a kid? 

I did inline skates in my youth, just kind of run the street and everything. Never really did quads, so that was different. I’d been off skates for years, so that was very scary. It was like learning to ride a bike all over again. I played soccer one year when I was a freshman in high school. Didn’t go well. Wanted to do track, but I lived in Florida, and the heat and everything. My parents wouldn’t let me; they were just so scared I’d get heat exhaustion or something. So yeah, not really sporty at all.

What brought you to Knoxville then, from Florida?

I spent a huge part of my childhood in Florida, central Florida, moving around a lot. My parents divorced, my mom moved up here because she would vacation in Gatlinburg (you know, a lot of people vacation in Gatlinburg and relocate here). So my mom was one of those. Just years with my stepmom, just falling out and it was time for a change. I moved up here to be with her and kind of just stayed. Had a family, now I’m stuck here.

Well we’re glad you’re stuck here! So you’ve literally been around since The School: for people who don’t know, that is a long time. That is Hard Knox lore to be a part of The School (I am not). So you’ve gone through fresh meat several times. Just what have been some of your experiences? What’s it been like going through fresh meat, continuing to come back from different adversities that you’ve gone through with it?

Well, I did rec league for awhile, and through that process, we didn’t have any boot camps or fresh meats or anything. It was just strictly rec league to kind of train you. And there really wasn’t a lot of involvement with the rec league. It was a completely separate practice. We had Cut and Chris who kind of managed it a little bit, and they kind of worked on some fundamentals, but nothing really intense or—they didn’t really push you. It was very casual. Some practices it felt like we were literally just skating around in circles. Lyda Kain and Kilty, they showed up to a lot of it, those were some good practices too.

It was probably, I would say maybe a year (I mean, Killer Queen and Kitty Twister, they started and they didn’t even go through a fresh meat, they were able to progress so rapidly that they were able to get into the league quick before we even had a boot camp). And then we finally had a boot camp, and on testing it was a tax deadline (I worked at a CPA firm at the time), so I couldn’t do it. Then it was probably another year before another boot camp, and something happened with that one, I can’t quite remember. I know we eventually had to relocate to Oliver Springs. We had a boot camp, and I think that’s when I found out I was pregnant with my youngest. I was gonna try to stick with it, and then the hormones kicked in and just couldn’t do it. After she was born, just a lot of postpartum depression. Couldn’t come back—I would even drive as far as into the parking lot, and sit there, and then turn around and go home. I would drive halfway there, and turn around and go home. I tried so much to come back, and it was just really hard for me. So yeah. And then years passed, finally I just decided: I gotta do this. I gotta do this. And here I am!

And here you are!

I think I might have done a boot camp with you.

We did, yeah! I was in 2018. We were together. I mean it was, I didn’t even realize how much it was going to be when I was going through it. But it was a good one.

It was—it was very intense. I would say, I feel like each boot camp that I’ve been to, they’re getting better and better. A lot more core fundamentals, but very intense. Really drill it down into you.

You’re reading my mind right now because I was going to ask what changes you’ve seen from the league. So is there anything else that you’ve seen, like the ways that the league has grown, or are there core things that you see like, no matter what, this is what Hard Knox always does? Just sort of a stepping back approach, what do you see from the league?

Well when I was rec league, it was really different because rec league was kept completely separate from the league. We were not involved with almost anything, hardly anything, but we were kind of expected to help with the fundraising. Any of that stuff we didn’t get MCH (Member Contribution Hours) credit for it, but we were still expected to participate in it. But when it came to any type of Hard Knox events (they had an anniversary one) we were expected to help with getting money together and supplies for it, but we weren’t allowed to attend it. We weren’t allowed to go to the end of the year party. We were expected to help with all the things, but we weren’t part of it.

But it’s completely different now. Where the rec league participates along with the league during practices, we’re all involved. If they want to help they can, there’s no pressure if they don’t, and they still get to be part of Hard Knox at the end of the year party and the after-parties and all of that stuff. I feel like it’s a lot more unified.

Yeah, and I think very intentionally making the culture a place where, no matter where you are, you can have a place here.

Yes, a lot more welcoming.

So when you’re out on the track, what is your favorite position to play?

Blocking!!

What do you like about blocking (she says with a very bold tone!)?

I feel like the times that (when we’re doing different practices where you have to play the jammer role) just trying to break through the pack, and I just don’t have the endurance for that. To have to skate around the track as fast as you can and then try to work through the pack again, I don’t think I have the endurance for that. And I think I would be a very strong blocker once I can figure out how to hold myself.

What’s an area that you can tell that you’ve grown in as a skater?

It’s really hard to say because I feel like in the past, I’ve done a lot of things, I’ve felt like I was a lot better at it, and then I’ve lost it, lost the skills from being off skates for so long and having to build everything back up and figure out what works, what doesn’t, especially with my body being older. It’s a lot harder. Having to relearn everything, it’s really hard to say. I will say, I’m a lot farther than I was last year. Just learning how to do all the things.

What have been some of your favorite derby moments, either on or off the track?

I think off the track is: the friends that I’ve made. I think I’ve made some really good friends, people that I know I can count on. 

You are part of the Bettys. What would you say is either your most Betty trait, or what’s your favorite part of the Bettys?

Well I do love the color red! So I have to confess: I did want to be a (formerly) Machine Gun Kelly because it goes with the whole mob thing, but Kitty Twister always told me, years ago, that I’m a Betty. She would tell me all the time, “You’re a Betty!” And so I did have my heart set on being a Moonshine Moxie, because formerly Machine Gun Kellys, but I was actually very relieved and thrilled to be a Betty. I feel that is my family.

I agree with Kitty’s assessment!

Yeah, it suits me.

It really does! And y’all’s vibe is just really fun, like the little button ups that y’all are have, those are so cool!

They are absolutely adorable! Just the whole outfit in general.

How did you decide on your skater name and number?

The Count is short for The Accountant from the Ben Affleck movie The Accountant. Just a complete badass of an accountant; I mean, he’s a CPA and he uncooks the books for the mob, just very impressive, what he does and who he is and everything and what all he has overcome and just, it stuck with me: The Accountant. I’m The Accountant. So The Count for short, and I just love that.

And it’s a good—we can just say, “Count!” out there on the track. A one syllable word is really good.

Yes, that helps a lot! The number, 1071: so I couldn’t come up with a number for the longest time. I did some Googling, and it’s unconfirmed, but I did find some amateur radio websites where they said 1071 is the code for fraud and I think counterfeit, I think it’s fraud and counterfeit, the police code for that for Knox County. Unconfirmed though! I need to find a police officer to confirm it.

It was so specific, I was like, it’s gotta be something related with money or accounting in some way! And I just loved your photo that you did this year with all the fake money you had, that was so much fun!

Yes, I think that was Death Starr’s suggestion. I think she suggested that, so it just worked out perfect.

What is something that you’ve gained from roller derby that maybe you didn’t expect?

Well I did a lot of research before starting, so a lot of the stuff that was said did happen: the physical fitness and the camaraderie, the bonds and everything. I think just some of the friendships I’ve gotten. Wasn’t expecting it to be as good as it is. It’s nice that there’s people I can talk to for various different things. And long lasting friendships, like Kitty Twister, we’ve kept in contact, even every time I’ve disappeared. She’s always been there.

You just recently did the Chalk Walk with your daughter. Have you always been artistic like that?

Yes, natural born artist. I don’t really push myself or apply myself like I used to. It was always drilled into me that you’re only famous when you die, so I never pursued a career in it. Which I’m kind of glad because I love my career. But it’s really nice because my oldest loves art, she’s actually going for an art major (animation). And so I try to support her as much as I can with that. We did it two years ago, had a blast, and did it again this year, and we’re going to continue doing it. Just very fun!

So did she design the piece that y’all did?

She did. So half of it was a monarch, because it’s my favorite butterfly, and the other half—I can’t remember the name of it, but it’s a blue butterfly, it’s her favorite butterfly, I’m a horrible mom for not being able to remember what it’s called! But yeah, she did the design and I let her kind of draw it out. I did my side, she did her side, we colored the green.

That is so cool! I didn’t realize that that’s how it went together, that y’all each had half of it. That is really well done.

She did an absolutely amazing job with that.

She did, yes! The design was really intricate. Well, what does your family think of roller derby?

They’re supportive of it. My littlest wants to do it. She’s totally into roller skating. I feel bad because I can’t take her to the skating rink as much as I’d love to. So, she watches the games on the big tv, and she’ll get her skates out and roller skate in the living room, and then she asks me, “When are we going skating?” I can’t wait until she’s old enough and we get the Hooligans [junior derby] up and running. That would be really good for her.

If you were to sum up your roller derby experience in three to five words, what would you say?

That’s a hard one! Persistence. I’ll just go with one word: persistence.

Who do you want to nominate next month, and what do you want to ask them?

Death Starr. What got you started in roller derby? What made you show up?

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Thank you for a great conversation, Count! Readers, it’s the month you’ve been waiting for: OUR FIRST HOME BOUT! Catch the All Stars and Brawlers on May 24 in downtown Knoxville, and cheer on all your favorite skaters. Until next time, be like The Count, and just be persistent.

-smalls-

April Featured Skater: November Pain

Name: November Pain

Number: 10

Travel Team: Brawlers

Home Team: Moonshine Moxies

Years skating: 2

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She always has a smile on her face, and her fierce playing brought the pain to all of her opponents! Get to know April’s Skater of the Month: November Pain!

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You were nominated by Wheels of Justice, who wants to know: What is the thing that has most surprised you about being involved in roller derby?

The thing that surprised me the most about roller derby is how friendly and supporting every single person on the team is—everyone! I’m really surprised at that. A group of people like that (especially mostly girls) you would think there would be little cat fights and other things, but for me, maybe I’m just oblivious, but I truly love every single one on the team, and I feel like they love me too!

We do! Well, what brought you to roller derby in the first place?

I was on Facebook, and I think an ad popped up or something, because I didn’t know we had a team. I hadn’t skated in like thirty years, so I told my husband then because I was like, “I’m going to do this,” and he was like, “Uh, you’re crazy, you’re gonna die, you’re gonna break something,” and I was like, “I’m gonna do it!” So I did!

So you skated as a kid. Did you do any sort of sports as well, or what was your sort of pre-sport background like?

I did track, I ran track in high school, and I played softball growing up, but that was just rec league. But as far as high school, I did track. I never skated professionally or anything. I just skated in church. My church had a skating rink, like a gym where you could skate, and I was there every day. I grew up in that church, every day I was there. That’s where I skated.

Where was home for you? Are you local to Knoxville?

Lenoir City, TN.

So you just kind of jumped into your skating experience then with us. How would you describe your first year?

My first year was more than I ever even imagined! I truly didn’t expect to get on the team my first year, much less play in real bouts. I just literally had never even been to a bout until I played in my first one in Charleston. That was the first live bout I had ever seen, so that was really fun.

How did you decide on your skater name and number?

Well, Shreddy’s husband actually helped me because we were talking and I’m really into music, I love music. I asked Shreddy what my name should be, and she said try to pick something that is about you, something you like, your hobby. So I thought: really the only thing I like is music, and so he had a couple of suggestions, and I was gonna go with Motley Cruel because I’m a big 80s fan, and so I thought that’s cool, so I was gonna do Motley Cruel. But then I was in the shower and listening to my music while I took my shower, and “November Rain” came on, which is my favorite song, and then it just hit me. I was like, “Oh, November Pain, that’s what I’m gonna be.” That’s my favorite song. And my birthday’s in November, so I was like okay, that works.

My son actually came up with my number because of a pain level of ten (one to ten): I’m a pain level of ten. He came up with that, and I was like, okay! That’ll work!

Has he or any other family members come to the bouts?

Yes, my husband and son have come to probably all of them, my mother, my step-dad, my brother, my sister, a cousin’s come.

What do they think about it?

They love it. My mother’s probably my biggest fan, my biggest supporter, you’ve probably seen her post things on Facebook. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about, but she loves it. She’s a good big supporter.

We appreciate the enthusiasm! How would you describe your derby playing style?

Hmm, derby playing style…right now, it’s just kind of not as hard as I want it to be [laughs]. I think my style, honestly I don’t even know, I don’t know how to answer that one to be honest. I feel like I can hit harder, but I feel like I’m working up to that, hitting harder. I feel like I’m hitting harder much more this season than last season. Last season I was really just working on skating and not falling.

It sounds like that might be one of your goals for this season then; do you have any other goals for this season?

Yes, definitely. Hit harder, hit out, I want to get the jammer out (the jammer and the blockers of course), to not break any bones obviously [laughs], to be a team player, and help the team and not harm the team in the jam. Last year I felt like, and I’m obviously on the B team, so we’re all pretty new, or mostly new to me anyway, I felt like I was hurting the team sometimes out there, you know? This year I want to be helping the team.

Well I mean, like you said, it’s part of being on the B team: we’re learning how to do things. And you definitely have helped the team! What are some of your favorite achievements that you have had on the track?

On the track…I know I’ve got one person, have hit one person out (don’t remember where or when) but I do remember doing that one time, and that was really cool, I felt really good about that. I just can’t think, it all goes by so fast! I don’t even remember what I did or didn’t do!

Do you prefer home bouts or traveling for away bouts?

Well I prefer the home ones because that way my family can come. I like traveling, but I prefer the home bouts because there’s more people, I feel like, and you know, there’s no place like home!

Do you have any pre-game rituals that help get you in the right mindset for a bout?

The only thing that I do pre-game every game and in fact every practice is take two ibuprofen [laughs]. That and I’ll drink, especially before a bout, I’ll drink an electrolyte drink. But nothing really pre-game rituals, no, I’m not too much into that. Just the day before, drinking lots of water.

How do you find a balance between roller derby and real life?

That’s hard! That’s really hard because roller derby is a lot. I’m thankful and grateful that I actually started at my age, older, when my son is in his twenties, because now I don’t have to take care of him. So now all I pretty much have to do is work, and you know, I have my house, my family to take care of, but I don’t have a little child I have to follow around and chase to games and stuff like that. So it’s easy. I’m busy, I’m busy every day all day pretty much, but I love it. I’d rather stay busy. Because before I started derby, I’d gotten in a rut, I would just be at home. Derby has really helped me a lot as far as my mental health. Helps a lot.

How do people in everyday life react when they find out that you play roller derby?

Most people are pretty shocked. Yeah, most people are like, “What, are you crazy?” They always ask me if I hit people, if I get hurt. But for the most part, people love it. Most people are like, “Wow, that’s so cool, I didn’t even know Knoxville had a team!”

What would you say to people who might be thinking they want to play roller derby, but aren’t sure if they could do it? What advice would you give to them?

I would say if you can skate, then come watch us practice, let us know, we’ll let you watch us, let you come see if you like it. Try it! Give it a try. What do you have to lose, you know? If you don’t like playing on the team, I always tell people, you know, if you don’t like to skate and if you don’t want to play, you’re afraid of getting hurt, you can always ref. You know, we always need refs. I always tell them that.

What is your favorite question that people tend to ask you about roller derby?

I guess if I hit people! [laughs] A lot of people will say, “How did you get into it?” or “How’d you know about that?” So I’ll tell them my story, but yeah, I don’t really get a whole lot of questions. Pretty much, it’s always, “Do you hit people?”

If you could describe your derby experience in three to five words, or maybe a short sentence, what would you say?

Fun, family. I feel like that’s the derby experience: it’s fun, and they’re family. I guess that’s my experience.

Who would you like to nominate for next month, and what do you want to ask them?

The Count. What’s her favorite part of what we do? I mean, we have practice, we have bouts, we have fundraisers. What is her favorite thing she does with the derby team?

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Thanks for a great conversation Pain! Readers, your Hard Knox Brawlers are on the road this month for their first bout against Little City! Be sure to follow Hard Knox on all the social media to keep up with that bout and many more this season. Until next time, be like November Pain, and just give something new a try.

-smalls-

March Featured Skater: Wheels of Justice

Name: Wheels of Justice

Number: 147

Travel Team: Brawlers

Home Team: Moonshine Moxies

Years skating: 2

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She fights for justice in her everyday life, and she fights just as hard for her team on the track! Get to know March’s skater of the month: Wheels of Justice!

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You were nominated by Lemon Drop-Her, who wants to know: Have you done competitive sports other than roller derby? How are they similar or different? Do you have a favorite?

I haven’t done team sports since college, so it’s been a long time, but in college I played rugby, which was a club sport at the time, and I also did crew (you know, rowing). Rugby is more similar to derby, and that’s why I thought it would be a good fit, but the truth is, I’ve found a lot of my rugby instincts work against me on the track. Things like directionals will come up if you follow your [rugby] instincts. But one of the best things about doing derby now is just remembering what it’s like to be on a team and to have that community and camaraderie and that common goal of being the best you can, and working together. So it’s really taken me back, not only to college, but just to the person that I used to be back then. You know, it’s like remembering who I was before I became a grown-up and became a lawyer, became a mom, and did all of that adulting. So it’s been really nice.

How did you discover roller derby here in Knoxville?

Derby has been on my horizon since I was a kid. I was a child in the 70s; watching it on TV, my dad used to yell at the TV and be like, “Yeah!” It definitely caught my attention because it was probably the only sport that my dad would yell at the TV about that involved women, because it was all football, wrestling, all these things. So it definitely caught my attention, and I did a lot of skating as a kid. We got skates in elementary school, and my sister and I used to put on these little roller skating shows. We weren’t near a rink, so we were just skating outside, and we’d invite the neighbors and do little tricks and we were completely silly and ridiculous.

So I think it’s a little bit of—it’s probably a whole lot of nostalgia that kind of kept derby on my radar, but I also loved sports for women and women being empowered to be strong and the best that they can be. I’m very into promoting that, as a woman, as a mom. And so I can’t remember—I definitely discovered derby here before COVID, and I was on Kilty [Konscience]’s list, but COVID happened, and I got so consumed with that and everything. I didn’t really think derby was possible, and so it wasn’t until last year that I felt like I had the space in my life, and I also felt, frankly, like time was running out, the window’s gonna close soon if I don’t jump at this. So I finally signed up—I guess it was 2023.

What was an early victory you had in learning roller derby, either maybe something from fresh meat or from your first year?

There were a couple times where I hit the jammer out of bounds, and that felt like a huge victory. You know, sometimes working in a pack is a little foreign to me from—I mean, you do it in rugby, but for whatever reason, it’s been a little easier for me to catch a jammer on my own and drive them out. Other skills are so much harder to learn, for some reason, but I’ve done that a couple of times in a bout, and that’s felt like a huge victory, like, “Oh! I can get this sport!”

What are some of your favorite things about blocking?

I do really love the whole pack thing: learning from people, playing with more experienced players, like you [smalls] who are giving me instruction on the track, like, “Fall back,” “Hold on,” “Okay, go forward.” All the things, and you see how all those strategies play out. I do really like being part of a pack and feeling like, in all of the chaos, we’re trying to create some order, you know? But it’s really fun. I feel like there’s still a lot for me to learn, so there’s probably more I could add to that down the road, but for right now, being a blocker is still somewhat of a mystery.

Do you think you want to stay as a blocker, or do you have aspirations of being either a pivot or a jammer?

You know, I definitely want to be open to doing different things. So one of my goals for this year was to try to brace more, and just have that kind of track awareness and communication skills, and I’ve thought about being a pivot more and jamming. It seems like there’s a lot of interest in jamming, so I don’t know that I want to kind of be competing with people for that, but I definitely am open and would be open to trying it more.

You had mentioned directionals earlier when it comes with rugby. Is that your most common penalty, or do you think you have another one? And do you think that has anything to say about your derby personality or your derby playing style?

Okay, I don’t think it’s my most common one because I’ve gotten better about that. There’s been some multi-players. I feel like I’ve gotten some unfairly placed failure to reform (you know how they just pick somebody, and if you’re just a little slow figuring out what’s going on, it’s you). Let me think, what are some of the other ones—I’ve had a back block, which I did not understand at all because the person fell on me, and I’m completely passive in this situation, you know?

I’ve gotten—okay, this is probably my most common one—blocking out of play. And it’s because sometimes it’s not really clear that the person is out of bounds, or what’s going on. I guess that’s what I kind of feel like. And so blocking out of play is probably, I’m embarrassed to say, my most common penalty. Because I’m maybe halfway to blocking them, and then they’re out, and then I hit them, you know? So there’s no shortage of penalties for me, unfortunately, but that’s probably one of the most common.

Now on the flip side: if we had a theme song that we would all hear whenever you do something awesome on the track, what would you want it to be?

Ooh that’s a tough question! My song would be “Super Bon Bon” by Soul Coughing.

What are some of your favorite achievements on the track?

I try really hard to just get back up if I’m hit, that’s one thing I’m very committed to. That’s from rugby too: you get tackled, and you get right up. So I’m really committed to that, but definitely it seems like, I guess—like Kitty the other day, I was against her, and she was all like, “Oh you almost got me!” Because I’ve gotten her before! Which is kind of hard, because she’s really fast and good, but I’ve knocked her out entirely on my own, and so maybe that’s one of my achievements, is knocking Kitty out entirely on my own! Because she is so good and so fast. I knocked Rattle out once too.

Those are both very impressive people to have knocked out!

Yeah, I kind of was shocked, frankly, that I pulled it off. Both of them are on my derby shirt [gestures].

Oh I like it! And you have a cat behind you as well.

And I have a dog too, who, if this cat gets enough attention, he’ll start getting jealous. This is Nadia.

Tell me a little about your pets! I want to know about them!

My dog is Princess Leia (my son named her) and I have two cats. And they’re all rescues, so I feel like they’re all a little batty, frankly. Princess Leia is very attached to me. I work from home, but I feel like she should really be a park ranger’s dog—I feel like she kind of lost out. She needs a job, basically. If I’m on a video call for work sometimes, she can be super annoying and disruptive, like, “Oh, you’re talking to people and it’s not me? I’m not involved?” So it’s a little awkward explaining to your clients, like yes, my dog’s very needy.

And one of my cats is a real freak, like total—she was real feral. They didn’t really have much hope for her becoming a normal kind of cat, and she’s kind of lived up to that. She’s come around. She can handle some affection, and she kind of wants it, but it causes her a lot of anxiety, so she’s very fragile. And my kids are still—my son is really good and knows how to manage her; my daughter’s fourteen and never learned, so the cat will smack her or maybe hiss at her, and my daughter’s only finally trying to learn how to manage a difficult cat like that. 

So anyway, I have three kind of crazy pets, but we volunteer at the animal shelter. We did the derby event where we all volunteered there and my daughter came with me, and she was like, “We need to do this!” So she and I do that now, usually on Saturdays, and almost every time we go, we are this close to adopting another cat. So it’s kind of tough, because I’m like, “Okay, three pets is a lot of pets.” But anyway, we go and we do that, and that was another gift that I got from derby, really.

Speaking of your kids, what do they think of you playing roller derby?

They’re not that impressed, to be honest! I feel like I would be impressed if my mom at this age was doing this, but they’re just kind of like, “Oh, pooh-pooh, that’s mom’s thing.” My daughter came once to a bout, but she mostly just didn’t want to sit at home because she didn’t really watch what was going on and wasn’t really into it, and my son’s never come, so I’m hoping this season, they come.

Luckily they’re into the gear a little bit. My son has the 2024 flaming roller skate t-shirt that I got him last year. He wore it for his first day of school, which kind of made me proud. It probably was random, but it still made me proud. My daughter, she came to one of the Georgia bouts, and she was like, “Ooh!” and got really into buying the t-shirts and stuff, so she’s got some roller derby t-shirts. So I don’t think they fully appreciate what it is, to be honest.

What is the story behind your skater name and number?

I’m a lawyer, and I wanted a legal name. There’s this podcast that I listen to a lot, and there’s a former prosecutor on there. It’s called “Legal AF.” They talk a lot about the “wheels of justice,” that’s an expression in the legal world. One day I was just listening to the podcast after I completed fresh meat, because I started fresh meat without a name, and I was like, “I’ll just see if I make the team first, there’s no need to get ahead of myself.” And then one day I was listening to it, and I was like, “Wheels of Justice—that’s the name!”

What’s kind of interesting about that—well two things. When I adopted my dog, back in 2018 from Young-Williams [Animal Center], her name was Justice, which is kind of funny. Like maybe we were destined to be together. And then secondly, just a couple of weeks ago I went to Montgomery, Alabama, to teach my kids about the Civil Rights Movement and everything that happened down there. I was overwhelmed that weekend with the word “justice” everywhere, and it kind of made me realize the deeper meaning of the word and how I was glad it was my derby name.

The reason for my number, because it is meaningful, is that my son was born on the 14th of November, and my daughter was born on the 7th of December. My number’s 147—what’s funny about that is that I didn’t know this, but my ex-husband, who races go-carts, also picked the number 147 for his number for the same reason. And I only knew this because I used his sticker guy to order stickers for my helmet, custom stickers for my helmet and stuff, and I figured out we both had 147. Kind of funny.

If you could describe your derby experience in three to five words, or maybe a short sentence, what would you say?

Oh that’s tough. I mean, it’s been nothing short of amazing. It has exceeded all my expectations, that’s probably what I would say, just everything about it. I’ll be honest, I sort of have commitment problems. I kind of try stuff or try people and I’m like, “Yeah, this isn’t gonna work, you know?” and I leave. But derby is—can’t get enough. I want to be at every practice, I want to be there at every bout, I don’t want to miss anything, so it’s been very consuming for me.

Who do you want to nominate next month, and what do you want to ask?

November Pain, because she’s one of my favorite people on the team and from fresh meat and everything. What is the thing that has most surprised you about being involved in roller derby? Because I feel like there’s a lot of surprises (there’s been so many surprise payoffs for me) and so I want to know what that’s like for her.

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Thank you for a great conversation Wheels! Readers, your hometown heroes are hard at work, practicing and preparing for our first bouts. Until next time, be like Wheels of Justice and fight for the people you care for.

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February Featured Skater: Lemon Drop Her

Name: Lemon DropHer

Number: 818

Travel Team: Brawlers

Home Team: Bettys

Years skating: 2

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She’s a ball of sunshine who isn’t afraid to unleash a sour punch out on the track! Get to know February’s skater of the month: Lemon DropHer!

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You were nominated by Shreddy Krueger, who wants to know: What is the thing that you’re most proud of since you started fresh meat until now? What are you proud of achieving?

Okay! That’s a lot. I started off with fresh meat barely knowing—I mean, I knew how to skate, but that’s about all I knew how to do. Now I know how to do all these things, so I guess I’m most proud that I stuck with it, honestly, because when it got really hard, there were a lot of times where it was just like, I don’t want to do this, you know? And I kind of got discouraged, but I stuck with it, and now I can do all these things that I never thought I could do.

During the new people’s fresh meat, I was able to do a slide and glide for the first time, and I’m really proud of that? Because I had been struggling with that for so long. Doing transitions is another one that I’m really proud of because it took me such a long time for that to click in my head, for it to be like, “Oh, okay, this makes sense, I can do this.”

I think I’m just most proud of sticking with it and all the different things that I’ve been able to do and learn. I’m excited to continue to learn and get better, you know. Because it’s, you know, always improving. There is no, “you’re done.” There’s always more stuff you can learn.

Absolutely! Well, what brought you to roller derby in the first place?

Triple D actually. I was approached back in, what, 2015, something crazy, when I lived in Wisconsin, and they were like, “You should do roller derby!” And I said, “I’m going to college and working full time, I do not have time for derby.” Then I moved here, and I was getting my oil changed, and Triple D was at his shop, and he asked, “What are you doing today?” I was like, “I just moved here, I don’t have plans, I don’t know anyone.” He said, “Well, if you don’t have plans, you should go to roller derby. They have a bout tonight.” And I said, “Oh, I’ve always wanted to do roller derby, but it was either the wrong time, and also I feel like I’m too small.” He actually mentioned you, he was like, “There’s smalls on the team and she’s shorter than you, so if she can do it, you can do it!” And I said, “Oh, okay, so let’s go check it out!”

I went, and he found me in the crowd and was like, “Hey, come here, I want you to meet all the skaters.” I remember I met Psych [Wazowski], and I met Trauma [Queen], and they were really—everyone was so nice and accepting, and they weren’t at all judgey or ew, you know? Everyone was just super nice. Then I went to the afterparty and everyone again was so nice and accepting. Psych was like, “Are you going to do it?” And I said, “I want to.” She gave me the information for fresh meat, and that’s kind of how I found you guys: through word of mouth from Triple D, and then I went and I was like, “Wow, this is really cool.” And everyone said, “You can do this too!” And I was like, “Me?” And I did! And I’m glad I did.

And we’re glad you did! What brought you to Knoxville in the first place?

We (my boyfriend and I) he transferred with his job. He works for a timeshare company, so we could have moved anywhere, but we went here to visit, and we really fell in love with the mountains, and the fact that y’all still have seasons (because we can’t live without snow, being from up north). But yeah, it was just so beautiful here, and we really liked the Knoxville area—there’s a lot to do and it reminded us a lot of Madison, Wisconsin, because it’s also a college town. It’s very—I want to say very liberal, but I mean yeah, it’s very liberal, and it has a lot of different groups and things, a lot of cool stuff, and so we’re like, “Oh, we could live here.” And then we did! He went and transferred with his job, and we ended up here. It’s really a cool area.

How did you decide on your skater name and number?

I went through a bunch of different ones, and I was talking to (before I joined) Guacarole, and she was saying, “Well, what do you like?” And I was like, “I like this, I like this, I like lemons because my cat’s name is Lemon and I just like lemons.” And she was like, “What about like, Lemon…Drop?” I said, “That’s good, I like that.”

I was thinking about it (I had a couple other ones in mind too) and then during fresh meat, I want to say it was Slam who came up to me and asked, “Hey, do you have a derby name yet?” I said, “I was thinking Lemon Drop maybe?” And she was like, “Lemon Drop Her, then it sounds like a derby name.” And I was like, “Okay!” And I played around with it, and imagined in my head: “And number blah-blah: Lemon DropHer!” And I’m like, that’s good, yeah, I like that. So I ended up going with it. And I have no regrets because I love being Lemon.

My number is my boyfriend’s birthday, August 18. Because he’s been really supportive of me just being like, hey, I’m going to do roller derby. And he’s like, okay! Because my dad, when he found out I was going to do roller derby, was like, “Honey, you got hit in the face one time when you were a kid playing soccer and you quit. You’re going to go and skate and hit people? That doesn’t sound like you.” And I was like, “I’m going to do it!” And I did. And Jack, my boyfriend, he never had that moment of, are you sure you can do this? He’s just been really like, okay, sure.

I also like the way the number looks. It’s very symmetrical, like you can flip it and it’s the same either way, and I like that. Yeah, so that’s where I got that from. And my cat’s name is Lemon, so there’s two Lemons now!

It is always funny hearing you talk about Lemon, but it’s your cat who you’re talking about.

The other Lemon, like the Lemon cat. Sometimes I pick her up, and be like, “Lemon Drop Her!” and I’ll drop her on the ground, and she’ll look at me like why? I mean, she’s a cat, so she lands on her feet, and she’s fine, but she just looks at me like, “Rude!” She’s a good girl.

How would you describe your derby playing style? 

Ohhhhh, that’s a good question, I don’t even know! Chaotic, I don’t know! I mean, I’m trying to get better at track awareness because I have ADHD, so I feel like my brain is always trying to take in all the information at once, so I’ve been trying to use that to my advantage and pay attention to what’s all going around me. But then sometimes it can be the opposite, it can be kind of hard, because then I’m trying so hard to pay attention to everything around me that I forget that the jammer exists, and then they go right past me, and I’m like, “Dammit!” So I don’t know, I guess, what do you mean by derby playing style? Is that like what position or—?

It can literally be anything at all. I think chaotic is a good way to describe it because especially as blockers, you know, we kind of have to be everywhere at any given time.

Yeah, right, it’s like okay you need to block, but also here comes our jammer, and here comes their jammer, and it’s just ahhhh! Yeah, it’s a lot all at once, and I’m trying to get better at honing in and just paying attention a little better but also being aware. It’s kind of like a chaotic little mess in my brain, in the best possible way.

Well your brain is connecting with my brain because I was literally going to ask if you had any goals for the season! Is there anything else that you have that you want to try to get on the track this year?

Yeah, I really really want to learn how to crab this year, because I cannot crab to save my life! My hips just do not want to go out, they want to go in. I can pigeon [step] for days, but then you ask me to crab, and my body’s like, “I don’t know what I’m doing.” I want to learn how to crab, I want to get better track awareness, and I think I want to—I like being a blocker, but I do want to try to pivot more often and become more aware of the fact that I’m wearing the pivot [panty], because I think a lot of times I’ll be like, “Oh sure, I’ll pivot,” and then the jammer’s stuck, and I’m just like, “Huh? Oh that’s me, right, okay, I have to do something.” I guess that kind of goes with track awareness.

I feel like I’m kind of learning the rules better, but I also just want to get better at understanding strategy I guess. When we did Naughty or Nice, I was really struggling and I was jamming, and I called it because I was so tired, and then the coach said, “I get that, but the other jammer was stuck, and we were trying to tire them out, and then I was going to tell you to call it when they get tired and that way you could have gotten the points if you could get by.” And I was like, “I didn’t even think about that as an option, you know?” Because I don’t really think about strategy, I’m just kind of in the moment, what to do, but I kind of want to learn more about strategies, that way I can actually plan things like that instead of being, you know, in the moment.

I also want to communicate better as a blocker. Trauma recommended that I just talk the whole time, and I’m going to try that this season, the whole time I’m blocking just be talking so that I can get used to communicating more on the track, not being afraid to communicate.

If you had a theme song that we would all hear whenever you do something awesome on the track, what would you want it to be?

I listen to a lot of lemon themed songs. [laughs] There’s “Lemonade” by Gucci Mane. That’s a good one because it says, “call that pack the lemon drop,” and that’s literally my name. I always listen to that before a bout or before practice because it makes me feel pumped up, so I feel like that would be a good one. Or “Lemon” by N.E.R.D. and Rihanna, that’s another good one too. But yeah, probably one of those two.

Do you have any other pre-game rituals that you like to do on bout day?

I always get an energy drink because I know it’s going to be a long day.You know I usually do track maintenance, so I have to be there a little early, so I get some food, get a big thing of water, get an energy drink, and then go. I usually do my makeup before I get there just because I’m afraid that if things get chaotic I won’t have time to, and I like doing my makeup for derby. I think it’s a fun way to get ready. I feel like Lemon is kind of like my altar ego, and I need to get in the headspace of being Lemon, and so I have to get my makeup ready to be Lemon, and all this different stuff, so I feel like that’s one of my rituals: get in the head space, listen to the songs, put on the makeup, get the Red Bull, and then go and get that track maintained.

What have been some of your favorite derby moments off the track?

Maybe because it’s the most recent thing that happened, but Naughty or Nice was really really fun, and it’s really fun to play against my teammates because we’re all so used to each other’s playing style, that we forget that we’re on separate teams. So I was jamming one time and I think Trauma was like, “Oh, Lemon!” and she let me by, and then she realized, “Wait, Lemon’s not on my team.” Then next time I came around, she hit me real good and she was like, “I’m sorry!” And I said, “No, it’s great, I love it!” I love when people hit me, you know? They don’t feel like I’m this fragile little thing that, you know, because I don’t know if you had this experience because we’re short, I think people think of us as small and fragile and don’t hurt them. Derby’s the only real time where people are like, “You’re not fragile!” and will actually hit me, and I appreciate that because yeah, I’m not! Just because I’m five foot nothing doesn’t mean I can’t take a hit, you know? But yeah, Naughty or Nice was a really great time because we all got to see each other during the off season and it was nice to play with my teammates but also play against my teammates. 

I just love hanging out with people outside of just practice and stuff too. The Bettys got together over the break; we went bowling and that was so much fun because we’re so—some of us are so competitive on the track, but then when we’re off the track and we’re playing bowling, a lot of us are just like, whatever, it’s fine. Except for Rattle. Rattle’s pretty competitive, even with bowling! But that was fun, those were some good times that we had off the track that were just good team bonding.

How do you like to spend your free time?

I like to read. When we were snowed in this weekend, I read a lot. I like to take my dog to the dog park. I have a Basset Hound puppy, he’s like a year old and has a lot of energy, so we have to go to the dog park and go for walks a lot so he doesn’t destroy my apartment [laughs]. Other than that, me and Jack are big Packers fans, so during the season, we go to a local Packers bar and we’ll watch the game and cheer on our team.

And that’s about it really. I’m kind of a homebody as I’ve gotten older; I like being home. Derby is my extracurricular activity, and all my other stuff is—I just want to go home and read. Maybe play some soft video games like Animal Crossing and things that I can just relax. Stardew Valley’s a good one. But yeah, not much of a hard core gamer, I just want to build my silly little town and hang out with my silly little creatures and relax, I don’t want to kill anybody in a video game. Or I just want to read and escape to somewhere else that isn’t my own reality.

What advice do you have for our skaters who just graduated from our Fresh Meat Boot Camp?

Honestly my best advice would be to just show up, keep showing up, and don’t give up. Because like I said, the very first practice with everybody was really intimidating because we’re wearing our yellow vests and everyone knows that we’re the new people, and I feel like everyone knows each other and it can be kind of intimidating, but just stay with it because everyone really wants you to be there, and we all want you to succeed.

So don’t give up and just keep counting all of your little successes. Even if it’s a small thing to you, be like, “Hey, I did that! And that’s really cool!” Because then you’ll build momentum and you’ll want to accomplish more and more, and you’ll see your growth at the end of the season, you’ll be like, “Holy cow, I did that thing! I went from this to that, look at that!” And that’s really cool, to be able to look at your progress and see how far you’ve come. So just don’t give up, keep at it, show up, and don’t get discouraged. And talk to the vets if you have questions because they are all very nice and want to help!

Who would you like to nominate for next month, and what do you want to ask them?

Wheels of Justice. Have you done competitive sports other than roller derby? How are they similar or different? Do you have a favorite?

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Thanks for a fun conversation Lemon! Readers, your Hard Knox Roller Derby skaters have started practicing once again, and that’s not just All Stars and Brawlers—team Chaos is our newest and most enthusiastic bunch! Keep an eye out for them on social media, and encourage them to keep up with this chaotic and fun sport. Until next time, be like Lemon, and stick with something even when it’s hard.

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